While going through the process of grieving, have you ever had someone says something… or multiple someones… that just angered you?
For me, well meaning people have said “everything happens for a reason.”
I have heard it over, and over, and over.
Everything happens for a reason.
Okay, here I am in the middle of heartache and grieving for a child, and you are telling me that this baby died “for a reason?”
Then I think about things and I remember several months ago, my cousin passed away from cancer. Did that happen “for a reason?” Or did one of the most honorable, loving, and godly men I know die from complications of a motorcycle accident, “for a reason?” No.
Things happen. Life sucks. And you move on with hope of a brighter tomorrow. Grief, illness, pain, heartache and even death are all part of living in this world we live in. Life isn’t all rainbows and puppies. Those times are great, but we aren’t meant to have things go perfectly our entire lives.
We are on earth. A place full of sin, disease and heartache. We aren’t going to go through life without encountering those. And there is no “reason” other than its part of the life we live here on earth.
Everyone mean’s well by saying “for a reason” – they do. I am sure I’ve even said it. But I know its not God’s will for a baby to die. Its not God’s will for someone to suffer with a terminal illness. Its not God’s will for a woman to be beaten over and over again by her own husband. This list can go on, and on.
What you need to know and understand is that God’s will isn’t about what happens to us, it’s in how we respond to what has happened. God walks with us, through the good and the bad. Through painful events in our lives – He is there. His desire is for us to recognize Him in the midst of the struggle and chaos and to look to Him. He gives us peace, grace, and hope.
God does not cause our pain. The bible says “the enemy came to kill, steal and destroy.” That’s not God. That’s the enemy. God can take our tragedy, loss, or pain and turn it into an blessing, or teach us a lesson through it. But He does not create the pain.
No good father here on earth would cause pain to their children. God is no different. He’s there to support, love, and guide. Maybe even help us gain insight, but never to harm.
We have a choice in everything. Free will to decide what we do, and how we respond to situations. We have to choose to respond to our suffering, pain and struggles in a way that gives us hope for a brighter tomorrow.
So no – everything does not happen for a reason. But we can choose to look to God to ease our pain and bring hope to ourselves and others around us.